Many years ago I read a book that discussed six different types of friendships. And while the book wasn't about friendships per se, that is what stuck with me over the years. The author said there are six different kinds of friends, from convenience friends to friends who come when you call at three in the morning. We all have them and each serves an important purpose in our lives.
Social networking, as I mentioned a couple of blogs ago, has enabled me to get back in touch with a lot of friends and acquaintances I've known over the years. I'm a curious person, and I like knowing where people's lives have taken them so I have been enthralled with social networking sites. At first I was insufferable, now I think I'm only moderately annoying about it since the novelty has begun to wear off. slightly.
I think about the friends in my life - neighbors and office mates, people who belong to the same organizations I do, childhood friends, older friends who shared their wisdom with me and younger friends for whom I've done the same. I have been blessed with having a lot of people in my life.
And yet, when I really think about it, I don't think I have been that successful in cultivating close friends. The truly close friends in my life would still come if I called at three in the morning, but most of them are no longer living in the same city with me. Rather than developing new close friends, I have relied on lovers to fill the void. I don't know if that's particularly unusual in a transient society like ours but I don't know.
What do you think?
4 comments:
I don't think that is unusual at all in our transient society, in fact, I think it is probably the norm. But, it is difficult to cultivate close friendships as adults because we are all so involved in keeping our own lives going, i.e. working on careers, raising children, etc. Unless the friend is also involved in the same areas of your life, how can you have enough extra time to devote to developing more close friendships? I am also intrigued with the social networks and how friendships can develop with just a few moments of typing comments once in a while!
I have also asked myself the same questions, and to be honest I haven't always had "close" friends. I decided not to worry about it much anymore, yet some days I am curious as to how many 'call at 3am' close friends I really do have. The rest of the time I am just grateful for the courage to be me and live life to the fullest, no matter what.
Paulo Cohelo's recent post http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2011/08/27/friendship-amistad/ made me think of you, ya know perhaps we do have people who would be there for us at 3am, maybe we just haven't met them yet.
HelloItsMe - I think the close friends have to spring up from the other types, whether they are convenience, special interest, cross-generational friends or whatever.
The thing about social networks and the internet is that while you are seeing a side of someone through the filter of electronic media, that person might not ever show up in a face-to-face setting (even though it is the same person). People say things in email and on the internet that they might never say live.
Erin - I absolutely loved the story in the Coehlo post you shared. My mom gave me a copy of The Alchemist a few years ago. He's a very interesting man.
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