Friday, December 14, 2012

First Novel, First Revision

After attending a holiday party last weekend and having a lively conversation with a local bookseller, I decided it was time to get back to my 2011 NaNoWriMo novel and start revisions. I am sailing into new waters here. I have never revised a novel before because I have never completed a novel before. I'm excited about the prospect and not feeling an ounce of trepidation.

I spent a few hours last Sunday afternoon taking the first draft and migrating it into my copy of Scrivener.  I can see the benefit of getting a holistic view of the work, having research and thoughts in one place, and being able to jump around easily to work on different sections. I got Scrivener after starting NaNoWriMo last year so I was too unfamiliar with it to use it during November. I am now more familiar with it and I think Scrivener will be a lot of assistance to me in the days to come. I especially like the idea of cutting things but not really getting rid of them in case I change my mind later. Woman's prerogative and all.

I haven't read the first draft since I wrote it a year ago. After finishing it, I told myself I wanted to let some time pass so I could come back to it with fresh eyes. I'm glad I did. As I started piecing the novel into sections for the Scrivener software, I found many delights and surprises in things I had done and forgotten.

I learned something about myself from it too. Despite the fact that I'm an optimist with a good outlook on life, the parts of the novel that have stuck in my mind for a year are pretty much the sections I thought so terrible in the writing of it that I've never let anyone read the first draft. Perhaps I'll explore that someday. For the record, those sections didn't get any better for sitting there a year. They are still awful and will be re-written. I'll also be making changes to some other parts that weren't bad but could be stronger. I've had some relevant live-changing experiences in the past year and my key learnings will probably find their way into my revisions too.

I still have to finish moving the novel into the various chunks I've divided up in Scrivener but that is helping me to see where the weak parts are. So far, revising is a lot of fun. I think I'll do it several times.  :wink:

Sunday, December 09, 2012

The Publishing Industry: 2032


The publishing business in 2012 is in chaos. “Book sales are stagnating, profit margins are being squeezed by higher discounts and falling prices, and the distribution of book buyers is ever more polarised between record-shattering bestsellers and an ocean of titles with tiny readerships. The mid-list, where the unknown writer or new idea can spring to prominence, is progressively being hollowed out” (Robinson). As this gets sorted out in the next twenty years, authors will begin participating in efforts to market their books and huge publishing conglomerates will continue to consolidate and focus on huge bestsellers. As conglomerates dwindle, the small press will rise again, and multi-format books incorporating new and old elements will be purchased through a variety of distribution channels.

In the preface to the paperback edition of Book Business: Publishing Past, Present, and Future in 2002, Jason Epstein predicted a consortium that would “eventually render many traditional publishing functions obsolete, especially those relating to the production, storage, delivery, and marketing of physical books” (Epstein x). While not a consortium of the “big six” publishing companies, Amazon opened a publishing arm in 2009, fulfilling Epstein’s predictions around the five functions he mentioned in the preface to his book.

Like book publishers in the 19th century, the financial situation of an early 21st century publisher is precarious; publishers are again becoming reluctant to take risks on the works of unproven authors. The corporate publishing model of sustaining profits in a large organization by depending on blockbusters to carry the financial weight of the midlist is unsustainable; publishers continue to look for ways to remain profitable.

On the heels of an announcement that Simon & Schuster was folding three of their imprints into existing ones and would be producing less titles, Penguin Books confirmed on October 25 that “Pearson and Bertelsmann are discussing a possible merger of Penguin and Random House” (Milliot and Deahl), which would combine the two largest publishing houses in the United States. This trend will continue over the next twenty years.

Along with consolidation, publishers will quit offering advances to unproven authors and there will be fewer opportunities for authors to be published by what is left of the “big six.” Writers will self-publish electronically in ever-increasing numbers and be responsible for self-promotion as they are starting out. Authors will write across media and look to package their novels with film deals and gaming storylines to keep their work profitable. New authors and mid-list authors who are too risky for the corporate conglomerates will be assisted by small, independent presses publishing books they love. Authors and publishers alike will still wrestle with protecting intellectual property rights although Digital Rights Management (DRM) will have proven to be a failed method. Cloud storage will be a preferred way to provide digital media and readers will be willing to pay for this method as they begin to trust that their books will still be there when they want them in the future, regardless of a device’s platform.

Most technology improvements we have seen in the past 500 years of publishing have been related to the supply side, from the Gutenberg bible to paperbacks to eBooks. Electronic publishing now makes it possible for anyone to publish a book quickly and cheaply; the market is being flooded with books as authors attempt to gain a foothold in the market. Faced with an overwhelming selection, demand side improvements will become a necessity.  “When you stop to consider that at the present juncture, we are producing a half million new titles a year distributed amongst, say, thirty million readers, were confronted with sample sizes of overlapping readership for the vast majority of texts that are so miniscule, no mathematician could possibly build a model that could predict likes and dislikes” (Nash). In the next twenty years, we will see algorithms developed that accomplish this. Despite that, human elements will still be needed and this is where agents and publishers can find success.

Dennis Johnson, co-publisher at Mehlville house said “the publishing business has always claimed--accurately, I think, but blindly--that books sell based ultimately on word of mouth. But you couldn't really prove it… But now you can prove it. Now you can actually see the word of mouth on a book and follow it on Facebook and Twitter and lots and lots and lots of blogs and webzines” (“Our eBook Future”). Traditionally there have been agents, publishers, booksellers and media between writers and readers. Social media changes that equation permanently by enabling an author to directly communicate with readers.

Successful authors will use social media to develop relationships. Fans and potential readers can quickly spot someone who is inauthentic and disengaged and will drop writers who appear to be these things. Writers who develop relationships and are effective participants in the digital community will reap the rewards of those relationships. Agents and publishers who wish to remain relevant in twenty years will need to offer writers something they cannot get through self-publishing and self-promotion; they must provide expertise and exposure in social media beyond the ability of a single writer, packaged with marketing and sales. Traditional media and independent booksellers will need to be active participants in the digital literary community as well.

Madeline McIntosh, President of Sales, Operations, and Digital at Random House has said “we're clear that our core competency is content selection and development: our editors know how to pick great prospective books and work with the authors to make the finished books even better.” (“Our eBook Future”). Over the next twenty years, what is left of the “big six” will have consolidated their imprints and will limit themselves to publishing prospective bestsellers.

Because conglomerate publishers will release fewer titles in the future, there is an opportunity for small presses to nurture relationships with authors who show promise. Independent publishers who offer a relationship with authors and publish books because they are passionate about the content will provide a home for authors who have outgrown or are not good at self-promotion. These publishers will have an advantage over the conglomerates whose first priority is profit for their stakeholders.

As developing countries grow and education improves, there will be more books from Africans and Asians. Readers will have access to stories and viewpoints from around the world, in part because of improving translation software. Small independent publishers will have an opportunity to nurture writers world-wide by seeking them out, writers who will be “flying under the radar” to most conglomerates. Diversity and passion will ensure that the most interesting books in twenty years will be coming from small, independent publishers.

The most interesting books of the future may not be traditional print books. “Clearly one of the dangers in projecting the future of print and print publishing is considering only the media consumption habits of adults our own age. All studies indicate that the next generation is going to strongly favor electronic online media over print-based media” (McIlroy 25). Most of the books published in print today will be digital in twenty years. What constitutes a book will change as well. Within the last year, one publisher introduced Hybrid Books, print books that include links and scan codes that allow readers to gain access to additional curated material. In the future there will be eBooks that incorporate audio, video and illustrative components. An eBook might include part of a hand-written rough draft of the novel, video of the setting and location of a non-fiction book, or audio interviews with the author. Digital media will also link to other media in the cloud, utilizing Software as a Service and whatever new technology exists in twenty years.

While Amazon is taking a bite out of the profits of bricks and mortar stores, they cannot be blamed for the recent fall of huge booksellers. “For one thing, surveys are already showing that in indie stores located near where a Borders has closed, business has gone up significantly” (“Our eBook Future”). Independent booksellers currently struggle with staying financially solvent. Hosting live events is something that is more difficult for an online bookseller to do successfully. Independent booksellers who focus on providing an excellent customer experience, serve as a good filter for readers, and facilitate the relationship between not only themselves and readers but between writers, readers and other writers, will be a vital part of the publishing industry in twenty years. Their readers will be loyal, choosing to buy eBooks from their local independent bookstore rather than a faceless online conglomerate.

In twenty years the publishing industry will be organized around demand side improvements and while technology will assist, the publishing industry of the future will be based around building successful relationships between authors, editors, publishers, agents, booksellers, and media. The adaptable will survive in what will still be recognizable as the publishing industry.

Works Cited

Epstein, Jason. Book Business: Publishing Past, Present and Future. New York: WW Norton & Company Inc., 2002. Print.

McIlroy, Thad. "The Future of Publishing." PrintAction 34.3 (2004): 22-5. OxResearch; ProQuest Central. Web. 27 Oct. 2012.

Milliot, Jim and Deahl, Rachel. “Random House, Penguin May Merge.” Publisher’s Weekly. 25 Oct. 2012. Publisher’s Weekly. Web. 28 Oct. 2012.

Nash, Richard. "Publishing 2020." Publishing Research Quarterly 26.2 (2010): 114-8. OxResearch; ProQuest Central. Web. 22 Oct. 2012.

"Our Ebook Future." Library Journal 136.16 (2011): 24, n/a. OxResearch; ProQuest Central. Web. 22 Oct. 2012.

Robinson, Colin. “Ten Ways to Save the Publishing Industry.” The Guardian. 12 Oct. 2012. Guardian News and Media Limited. Web. 25 Oct. 2012.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

School's Out... for now

I took two classes last term. It was good because my former employer was footing the bill so I will get tuition reimbursement for the expense. It was bad because it was so difficult to do two classes in a two-month term and start a new job that I was exhausted and my relationship was stretched to the limit.

I am taking this term off; I am exhausted.

It's my dime now. I'm paying for 100% of the tuition and fees for my college degree from here on out. I'm not on anyone's schedule but my own, and I'm doing it because I want to do it, not because I have to. I know that I will finish, I am studying what I want to study. And yes, there will be a big party in New Hampshire when I finish because I certainly plan to walk and I have family and friends who are willing to come along to celebrate with me.

Tomorrow is the last day of October and I have to decide if I'm going to write another novel for NaNoWriMo. I know that my partner, lynxter, is not thrilled with the prospect of having me pull school out of my schedule only to fill it up with having to write 50,000 words in one month. I have a couple of ideas for a novel, though, and I am going to give it a try. And it looks like I'm going to be writing another literary fiction story. I guess that's the genre I feel most comfortable in, although I always thought I'd write mysteries, fantasy and perhaps some science fiction. I guess I'll get to those stories later.

And no, I haven't gone back to do any re-writing on last year's novel. It's on my to-do list as well.

Friday, May 11, 2012

The Best Laid Plans...

My apologies, dear blog followers. I can't believe that I haven't posted since the end of January. My intentions are good, my life is very full and getting even moreso. In February I decided to go back to college and enter an online Creative Writing and English program. The program features 8 week terms rather than 16 week semesters which can be really intense when you're taking a writing class, which I did in March and April. I don't have any good excuses for February but there you have it.

In eight weeks of class I amassed a writing portfolio of almost 60,000 words including a fair amount of poetry, a couple short stories, a critical paper, a lot of stream of consciousness writing and many story and poem ideas and snippets. I want to give public thanks to my instructor, Daryl Morazzini, for helping me get back in touch with and encouraging my inner poet, and to encourage you to read a cross-genre short story of his titled When They Come For You. It is a very good story although not an easy read. It tells a non-fiction story using elements of  folklore, mythology and comic books.  

When I decided to go back to school and began looking at this Creative Writing program, I realized that I would need to take two of three offered workshop classes in fiction writing, non-fiction writing and poetry. Although I had written a lot of [really bad to mediocre] poetry in my younger days, for some reason I had rationalized that I didn't have any more ideas for poetry and that perhaps I wasn't a poet at heart. The next natural step was for me to decide that when it came time, I would take the fiction and non-fiction workshops and avoid poetry at all costs. The best laid plans...

Then I had to take the Introduction to Creative Writing class. As expected, we started out with fiction and I wrote a few things that I thought were pretty good. I don't seem to be at a loss for story ideas and I'm lucky that I don't often suffer from writer's block. I came out of those weeks with solid grades, as expected. Then came the non-fiction weeks and I learned that writing non-fiction does not come as easily to me. Then we moved to poetry.

As you can well expect, Daryl gave us poetry writing assignments. I thought I had no poetry left in me and soon realized how absolutely wrong I was. A villanelle, a ghazal, free-verse, a pantoum. It has been like opening a floodgate. I did well on the poetry assignments. In response to one week's collection of poetry he wrote:
You have a strong eye for the "breath" in poems, your lines and your your images are just rolling off my tongue, the words stacked one on top of the other in a flowing and progressive manner. Your poems are slightly mystical, a tinge of darkness flows through them, and I believe that you will access the deepest levels of poetry if you continue pursuing your craft and and your interiority of Self through your brilliant and passionate writing..
Of the next week's collection of poems he said "[i]t was wonderful to read these poems out loud and see them on the paper. Please promise me you will read these at an open mic soon." Say what?!

Look, I have friends who are performance poets but I have never considered reading my poetry aloud at an open mic or a slam or anywhere else. I have a love of words, not a love of the sound of words. We listened to Ginsberg read Kaddish and I understood beat poetry but still don't think of it as my kind of poetry.

He did ask me to promise, though. So I committed to read some poetry aloud at the next salon my writers' group holds. After having done that, I thought "but that isn't an open mic." Daryl has been so kind about my poetry that I feel an obligation to keep the full promise. I will read at an open mic. Soon. I'll let you know how that goes. If you're in town I will probably ask you to come along for moral support. And while I was feeling brave about making that decision I sent off a couple of my best poems from my final collection for the class to a contest. I rationalize I can use it to start getting used to rejection. And I don't think I'll be taking the non-fiction workshop.

Monday, January 30, 2012

My Tuscan Lasagna

Today's post interrupts our irregularly scheduled blog to bring you a recipe for gluten-free Tuscan Lasagna that I have been getting lots of requests for.  But first, a little background.... and if you want to skip the background, scroll on down.  I won't be offended.

This is not a cooking blog even though I love to cook and I love to eat.  There are some really great blogs that feature special diets and I follow several of those blogs.  A few months ago I changed my eating habits in order to lose the weight that has crept up since I took a job with corporate America years ago.  To give my metabolism a little boost, I did a vegan/smoothie/juice/mostly-raw diet for a couple of weeks (see www.jointhereboot.com for their standard reboot if you want to know exactly how I began this journey) and then started reintroducing grains, nuts, meat and other foods back into my diet.

I have always known that I had issues with soy.  It started during infancy when my Mom couldn't produce enough breast milk and I couldn't keep formula down.  I eventually kept it down, but the doctor warned my mom that it wasn't because I wasn't allergic to the last brand they tried; my body had merely learned to tolerate what they kept putting into me.  I've read that most people outgrow that allergy but I never did.  I can eat soy sauce and a little tofu (hot & sour soup - yum!), but eating a TVP burger is a surefire way for me to get severe stomach pains.

Drinking glasses of milk have always made my throat feel like it was closing a little, but I like milk & milk products so I've stuck to cheeses and yogurts since they don't seem to do that as much.  Cheese has been a huge part of my life (and my waistline).  I didn't realize what I was putting my body through until after my reboot.  I had a slice of mozzarella melted on a portabella mushroom cap the day after my reboot ended and had stomach pains that reminded me of soy.  I still love cheese and yogurt so I still eat a little of it, but I am more careful now and keep it to a minimum.  Why put my body through that if I don't have to?

Finally, about the gluten-free thing.  I do not have Celiac's disease and I do eat some wheat and wheat products.  However, my mother has adult-onset diabetes and she told me that whenever she eats bread, even 100% whole wheat, it causes her blood sugar to spike.  Since my blood sugar has been creeping up over the past few years, I figured it was doing spiky things to my blood too so I've pretty much eliminated it from my diet.

Which (finally) brings me to the Tuscan Lasagna recipe.

Almost.

A couple of years ago, Lynxter and I took a trip to Italy.  On the trip we visited a winery in San Gimignano.  As part of the tasting, they served us a piece of the vintner's mother's lasagna so that we could experience the white truffle oil they sold.  We left with a bottle of the truffle oil and I spent the next year searching for a recipe that might replicate mama's.  It was the best lasagna I'd eaten in my life.  After a year of searching, I finally found something pretty close, a Tuscan lasagna alla Bolognese, and modified it as closely as I could to my memory of hers.  I thought it was a thing of the past when I quit eating dairy and wheat.  I might eat a little of those things and usually not together.  I was sad but really kind of ok with it because who wants stomach pain?

The day I saw brown rice lasagna noodles in the supermarket I wondered if it would be possible to make a gluten-free version of this recipe.  It features some cheese, but what's really important to the taste is the bechamel sauce, which traditionally includes both milk and flour.

As I said before, I love to eat.  So I am not going to modify my diet to include something that tastes nasty.  If the substitution doesn't taste good, I'd rather eliminate the food entirely from my diet.  With that in mind, I modified the recipe to what follows.  Along the way I have included dietary options I have tried and some thoughts on how it might be made meat-free (which I've never tried).  I hope you enjoy it.  I think it's good enough that if your audience didn't know it wasn't "real" noodles and cheese, they'd never guess.

I took a pan of this to my writer's group salon a couple of weeks ago and everyone seemed to enjoy it.  People have been asking me for the recipe.  Then this morning someone on Twitter asked for it.  So I thought I'd post it here where anyone who wants can have a copy.

And one final warning about what I'm calling "dairy-free".  Most dairy-free cheeses are made with soy, which is worse for me than dairy.  So I use Rice Shreds, which actually contains casein, a milk-based product.  So if you absolutely can't have casein, you'll probably want to use a vegan, soy-based cheese.

And unlike a food blog, there are no pictures.  Both times I made it, we ate it all down as though we were starving, which we certainly are not.

Tuscan Lasagna


PASTA:
10oz box of GF Lasagna noodles (I used Tinkyada brown rice pasta)

RAGU:
About 1 Tbsp olive oil
1-1/2 lbs. Ground beef (a good cut, at least 80-90% lean)¹ - subst. soy crumbles if you want to go meatless & can have soy, see comment below about possible soy-free option)
½ c shredded carrots
½ c chopped celery rib
½ c chopped onions
1 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp chopped fresh sage
½ tsp thyme
28oz can crushed tomatoes
½ c dry red wine (a chianti or other sangiovese works best)
½ c beef stock (you could use a beef-flavored broth if you are going vegetarian)

FILLING:
8oz Mozzarella Rice Shreds (use pecorino Romano cheese, grated if you can have goat cheese) or soy-based "cheese"
Bechamel sauce (recipe below)

BECHAMEL SAUCE:
1 Tbsp soy-free Earth Balance
1 Tbsp Bob's Red Mill GF All-Purpose flour
300mL Coconut milk (about 1-1/4c) - can subst rice milk, cow's, etc. if you like) - I used So Delicious Original
1/2 tsp Arrowroot powder
1/8 tsp or less! freshly grated nutmeg
1 tsp chicken-flavored soup base (I use Orrington Farms which has actual chicken but not all do)
freshly ground pepper to taste
freshly ground sea salt to taste

TOPPING:
White truffle oil  (pay more, get the real stuff.  If it's cheap it isn't real.  It is worth it!)


Start the Ragu.  In a large saucepan/skillet, heat the oil until shimmering. Add the garlic and cook over moderate heat until lightly browned, about 1 minute. Add the carrots, celery and onion and cook, stirring, until softened, about 10 minutes.  Stir in the sage and ground beef¹ and season with salt and pepper.  Break up the meat with a wooden spoon and cook over high heat until no trace of pink remains, about 8 minutes. Pour in the wine and cook over high heat, stirring, until reduced by half, about 15 minutes. Add tomatoes and stock. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 2 hours, uncovered, stirring occasionally.   You can actually let this cook longer than 2 hours the longer it cooks, the better it tastes.

While the ragu simmers, prepare the bechamel.  Melt the "butter" in a heavy saucepan over low heat. Add the flour & arrowroot all at once, and stir rapidly with a wire whisk until blended. Add the milk at once to the butter-flour mixture, stirring vigorously with a whisk. Continue cooking over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the sauce has thickened and is smooth, about the consistency of a thin pudding. Add the nutmeg, salt, and a few grinds of pepper, soup base if desired.  Cool the sauce at least 15 minutes before using. It becomes firmer as it cools.

Preheat oven to 375°F.  Spray a 13 x 9 x 3-inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray.  Spread a layer of Bolognese Sauce on the bottom of the dish. Cover with uncooked lasagne, slightly overlapping the noodles. Spread some ragu over the noodles and dollop with scant tablespoons of the bechamel.  Then sprinkle with cheese  Drizzle Béchamel Sauce over the noodles and sprinkle with cheese.  Continue in this order until you use the last of the noodles, then top with the remaining bechamel sauce and cheese  This layer of bechamel should cover the entire top of the layer.  Reserve any remaining Bolognese Sauce for serving.  Make sure no dry noodles are exposed or they will not soften and that's pretty yucky (even true for noodles with gluten, in my opinion).

Cover with foil and bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Remove foil and continue to bake for an additional 10 to 15 minutes. Remove from the oven. Let rest 10 to 15 minutes until serving.

Serve with additional ragu and pecorino romano (or other "cheese") as desired, but drizzle truffle oil on the top of each serving.  You'll thank me.  It's what had me searching for this lasagna recipe for almost a year.....

¹NOTE: It costs a bit more, but it's really excellent to replace the 2 lbs. Ground beef with 1 lb. Ground veal, ½ lb. ground pork,  ½ lb. ground lamb and 1/3 lb. chicken livers.  Before adding the ground meat as described above, first stir in the chicken livers and sage and cook, stirring occasionally, just until the livers lose their pink color, about 3 minutes. Then add the ground veal, pork and lamb and continue the recipe as above. 

Looking for a vegan, soy-free ground beef alternative?  I haven't tried it, but am intrigued by Ricki Heller's "easily soy-free" veggie full-ground meat.  Check it out here and instead of Bragg's or Soy sauce, don't omit it, try Coconut Aminos.  I am going to give this a shot soon but probably not in the lasagna recipe.  If I keep making that I'm going to start gaining weight again.

Please let me know what you think!

And now, back to my irregularly scheduled blog about writing and thoughts and stuff.


Friday, January 13, 2012

Winter, Physics and Rosanne Cash

As the weather has turned decidedly colder, accompanied by snow and strong winds, I find myself hunkering down today, mindful of my cold fingers and toes.  No, I'm not outside, I just can't seem to get completely warm these days.  But if this is downside of losing weight, I'll learn to embrace it (and perhaps buy more polypro).  I've had a fairly productive day at work and now I'm taking a lunch break so I thought I'd spend a little time here.


Thanks to the magic of  technology and the internet, as I write this I am listening to a podcast of Rosanne Cash on Krista Tippett's APM show "On Being".  (It's a very good program, please check it out if you have any interest in spiritual discussions.  Here's a link to the Cash interview: http://being.publicradio.org/programs/2012/time-traveler.)  I am learning that Rosanne Cash and I have a similar interest in a creative force that we glimpse, that organizes the world around us.  She's talked a bit about her love of fractals and quantum mechanics.  If you follow her on Twitter, you probably already share my belief that she'd be a lot of fun to hang out and chat with.  Or play music with (if you're also a musician).  This interview solidifies my suspicions in that area.


In the interview, Cash told Tippett "it took me well into my 20s and early 30s to really find something that was mine. And to realize that art and music was the kind of deity I was looking for.  That it was all there.  The source of all creativity, light enlightenment, beauty, revelation, inspiration, all those things were in art and music. So I said well that's good enough for me."

I wonder whether art and music are merely the manifestation.  From my limited exposure to quantum physics, I have gathered that the more scientists learn, the more it seems to point to the existence of what might be called "God".  The fascination I have with the potential synergy of science and religion is one reason that I recently purchased books by Michio Kaku and Lisa Randall.  I didn't take physics in school and I wish I had.  Everyone in my family who has taken it, loves it.  The boys have even both considered (or should I say, "are considering") majoring in physics in college.

I fully realize that some people seek the solace of religious because they have had difficult times and need God to get them through, or they carry guilt about the poor choices they've made so far and don't want to end up in Dante's Inferno.  I have always been interested in God, or what's out there, or the force, or whatever you want to call it.  Yes, it's true that as the planet shifts into another year (already has or soon will, depending on whose calendar you follow), I am reminded more often of my own mortality especially when I hear more frequent stories of friends having major health issues or major open heart surgeries or even of passing into the next realm.  But the fact that I'm growing older isn't suddenly triggering this fascination with religion.  It isn't related to mortality or my behavior or anything like that at all.  It's been there most of my life and it's pretty simple:

I am curious.  I am in awe.  I find it wondrous.

I feel that I'm coming into a very good year.  I suppose I always think that, being an optimist, but I also have good reason to be an optimist and I am grateful.  I have so much compared to so many - from the material and the physical to the emotional and cognitive.  I am lucky by accident of birth and by making my own luck.  My successes are owed to others and to my own efforts.  To which degree each played a role, I have no idea and in the end, don't think it really matters, they are probably very related, whether they appear to be on the surface or not.   To get down to the science of it, we humans are social animals. What's important to me is that I try do the best I can with what I have to work with, and that I do it with other people and with kindness and forgiveness and tenacity to others as well as to myself.  Sure, there's an element of continuous self-development in there too, along with a healthy dose of the moral yardstick with which I was raised.


I was raised a Catholic and while I have many disagreements with the Church in Rome (a topic for another post, another day perhaps), those teachings gave me a strong belief in treating others as I would have them treat me.  I know that I don't always live up to it, but that is the standard I use for my behavior in every one of my relationships, in every encounter I have.  Because of that, I don't have to worry that I'm getting religion right.  I know that I am.  And I can view science and mysticism and religion and spirituality as objectively as I think a subjective human can view these topics because my soul isn't at stake if I get it wrong.  And what I keep learning continues to inspire me, sparks my curiosity and never fails to leave me with a sense of awe and wonder.


With winter everything seems to slow down a bit.  So let the snowflakes fall and the winds roar if that's what they'll do today.  I'll continue to reflect then say my quiet prayers of thanksgiving and hope for others before moving on to my afternoon tasks.